The couple The couple

Aaron & Jess

Getting Legally Entangled

Kilcunda Ocean View Hotel ·10th October 2026
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You're invited to be part of one of the most magical of moments in life

When everything changes and Two become

Two.. Two people that have new finger jewellery on their fingers

And also let the state know we are facebook official

Come to the pub and celebrate with us and get loose as a goose wooooo!

Operational Procedure

Classified: Day-of Field Manual

1
T-24 hours
Confirm suit/dress has not shrunk since last worn. If it has: not your fault, it was the dryer.
2
Morning of
Wake up. Stare at ceiling. Question your life choices. Conclude they are good choices. Resume normal function.
3
Departure
Load vehicle. Apply sustained pressure to accelerator pedal in the direction of Bass Hwy.
4
Approach
Identify 3529 Bass Hwy. Reduce velocity. Indicate minimum 30 metres prior to turning.
5
Parking
Locate an unoccupied bay. Engage handbrake. Do not forget to take keys.
6
2pm ish — Arrival
Enter venue. Locate bar. Establish perimeter. Greet people you half-remember with full confidence.
7
3pm — Ceremony
The main event. Phones down. Tears optional. It might be in pub or beach see how it goes.
8
2pm to 5am — Photos
Stand where told. Smile like you mean it. The ocean will do most of the work.
9
3pm to 9pm — Dinner & Speeches
Eat. Laugh at the speeches whether or not they are funny. This is legally binding.
10
6:58pm to 7:13pm — Dancing
Get loose as a goose. The verandah has 180° ocean views; try not to fall off it.
11
End of night
Locate designated driver. Confirm they are still designated. Do not forget keys (again).

Where to Sleep It Off

Accommodation options, ranked by proximity to the bar.

Kilcunda Ocean View Motel⭐ Next door
Literally next door to the pub. Stumble distance. Rooms have their own bathroom, fridge, microwave and toaster — everything a hungover person needs.
→ Book on Booking.com
Kilcunda Oceanview Holiday ParkAcross the road
Cabins, villas, powered caravan sites and camping — right across the road with ocean views and its own steps down to the beach. Great option for families or anyone bringing a van.
→ kilcundaoceanview.com.au · (03) 5678 7260
Further afield10–20 min
San Remo & Phillip Island (~10 min), Wonthaggi (~10 min) and Inverloch (~20 min) all have motels, Airbnbs and holiday rentals if the close options book out. Book early — October fills up.
The BeachFree
Zero cost. Unlimited stars above you. Some sand in places you'll discover in the morning. Not endorsed by the couple.

The Evidence

Us, Documented

The couple
With baby
Kilcunda beach
Kilcunda coast

Getting There

The Venue

📍 Kilcunda Ocean View Hotel

3529 Bass Hwy, Kilcunda VIC 3995

Perched right on the Bass Coast with those ridiculous ocean views.

🚗 Getting Here

About 1.5hrs from Melbourne via the South Gippsland Hwy or Bass Hwy. If you find yourself in Wonthaggi, you went too far.

A Test of Commitment

Put A Ring On It

Drag back anywhere to aim (slingshot style), release to throw. Land the ring on the finger. If you Can't do it, there is probably somthing wrong with you.

LEVEL 1 THROWS: 0

⚠️ URGENT MESSAGE ⚠️

SINGLE BRIDES IN KILCUNDA WANT TO CHAT!!

Click to accept hot messeges and send bank detail now!!!.

$WEDDINGCOIN 🚀

Market Cap: 2 Rings same root

BUY THE DIP!

Value increases 14% per toast. DYOR.

💊 MARRI-AGE HARD™ 💊

Make your marriage last up to 5x longer! Make your commitment HARD AS A ROCK! Marriage counsellors HATE this one weird trick.

Side effects may include: staying married, mild kidney failure.

🎉 YOU ARE THE 1,000,000th VISITOR! 🎉

CLICK HERE TO CLAIM YOUR FREE TOASTER

(Toasters are located at Kmart and require a small removal fee payable to Kmart)

🎁 Gift Registry

Prices are non-negotiable.

$20,000 — Bare minimum. No thank you. We won't even make eye contact.
$35,000 — Still nothing. But we'll think of you fondly, briefly.
$50,000 — A nod.
$75,000 — Sustained eye contact at the reception.
$100,000 — An actual thank you. Finally.
$150,000, left testicle or right ovary — Thank you very much please enjoy a free sausage roll on us (1 per guest)
$500,000 — Custody of one of our children. Car seat included.
$1,000,000+ — We legally change our surname to yours. Mid-ceremony.

Okay, Seriously

This Bit Actually Matters

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